At an ADHD conference, a therapist presented on this topic. Unfortunately, I didn't get to hear her as it is a topic of great interest to me. What about me is attributable to having inattentive ADHD? Probably all the behaviors listed in the DSM-V for inattentive ADHD, but it is my terrible memory that troubles me the most.

All my life I have been shy and uncomfortable in social settings and meeting new people. I got totally wiped out when I had to engage in an extended conversation. When I read Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain, I said, “Yep. That’s me. An introvert.”

So, you can imagine my surprise and delight when I realized a few months ago that I was an outgoing, social butterfly, ready, willing and able to talk with anyone!

Hyperfocused and Productive

My hyperfocusing has served me well and I have a great career from it.

When I’m committed to doing something, my hyper focus allows me to give 100%.

When we hyperfocus we can get 3x the work done in half the time.

I get things done! I am determined when working on a project especially when I really like it. Productive when doing things on my list

ADHD is usually considered a disorder of attention, but it is better understood as a disorder of regulation, and regulation of emotions is a key challenge for people with ADHD. The limbic system of the brain is where emotions start. It gives and receives messages from all parts of the brain.

When you experience a let-down from a symptom of ADHD (e.g., late to a meeting, forgot an important detail, made a small but important mistake, forgot to turn in an assignment, observe yourself being distracted instead of completing a task), ask yourself, “What’s on the other side of this coin?” What positive behavior accompanies the difficulty?

ADHD is a disorder of self-management and self-regulation. People with ADHD often experience frustration related to their behavior, sometimes being critical of themselves which can lead to a default stance of learned helplessness.

Focus is like a wave. It has its own momentum and is part of a larger process. It ebbs and flows. If you catch it at just the right moment, it can carry you.

People with ADHD have focus. They just have a hard time catching the wave and riding it in certain circumstances.

Have you ever had a day, or a week, or even a month, when nothing went right? You got up late, couldn’t find anything clean to wear, drove too fast to work and got a speeding ticket, forgot your lunch in the refrigerator, and, noticed too late, that your blouse is missing a button. On top of that, there was space in the parking lot at work.

You and I are climbing a mountain, hiking side-by-side. You carry a heavy backpack that contains all your life burdens caused by undiagnosed ADHD. As we start up the mountain, I question you, learning about the items in your pack and how they got there.

I discuss the journey ahead and describe what reaching the summit will feel like. I help you establish and achieve important milestones as we work our way to your ultimate goal--the mountain's pinnacle. When you experience signs of fatigue and discouragement, I provide support and guidance, bringing you renewed energy and confidence.

Take my hand and come with me,

I want to teach you about ADHD.

I need you to know; I want to explain;

I have a differently wired brain.

Sights, sounds and thoughts collide.

What to do first? I can’t decide!

Please understand, I’m not to blame.

I just can’t process things the same.

People with ADHD are prone to over-indulge. We don’t know our limits. It’s not until we are exhausted that we suddenly realize, “I’ve reached my limit. I attempted too much”

I know about over–indulging. I love information and find new learning exciting, but I overdo. I do a google search, study information at many websites, download numerous articles, read some of them, print out others, and save urls for future learning.

A child I know who has ADHD started his first day of school. I hope he has a good year because I recall having many school years that were not good. There is much I wish my teachers knew about ADHD and didn't. Maybe this article will fill in some gaps and encourage parents to advocate for their children until they can advocate for themselves.

My son was diagnosed with the inattentive subtype of ADHD, which is more common in girls and women and is diagnosed much less often than the hyperactive subtype. It’s characterized by trouble focusing, being frequently “spacy” or distracted, forgetfulness and lack of attention to detail. This differs from symptoms of the hyperactive subtype, most common in boys, which includes symptoms many picture when they think of ADHD–fidgeting, an inability to sit still, excessive talking and frequent disruptions.

Have I confused you? What I am trying to say is that some features of ADHD can be gifts, but overall ADHD isn’t a gift.

There are entrepreneurs who value their ADHD and say they wouldn’t want to be without it, but I am not one of them! Even some of them admit their ADHD isn’t a total gift. Glenn Beck, conservative radio host, said his ADHD is a gift for his work, but not for his marriage. While both Ty Pennington and Michael Phelps, in spite of their successes in life, have been arrested for drunk driving.

Dr. Rakesh Jain is a psychiatrist with great empathy for people with ADHD. He believes one symptom that should be included in the DSM-5 but isn’t, is how often we don’t attempt something because our fear of failure, because of our a history with failure. Brendan Mahan, an ADHD Coach, calls this “The Wall of Awful.” Our memories of our past failures prevents us from attempting something again.

Over 20 years ago I learned about the benefits of mindfulness for people with ADHD, but I didn’t listen.  It was a new age-y thing, the in-thing to do. Why follow the crowd?  The thought of  undertaking a new activity, even one that promised to improve my life, overwhelmed me. There were too many steps and I didn’t know where or how to begin.

I’ve always felt different — and it wasn’t a good feeling. I didn’t know exactly how I was different, so I couldn’t change myself to fit the mold. I wasn’t a social misfit, as I had friends and participated in activities, but I rarely felt relaxed or at ease in the company of others. 

Memory Issues

Post a list on the exit door—read each item and pat yourself that you have it with you.

Have a tray by the exit door for possessions you need when going out—keys, wallet, etc and another tray in your bedroom, for use when going to bed, for items you use when in the house, e.g. glasses, phone, watch.

About the time I got diagnosed with ADHD, Thom Hartmann produced the first edition of ADHD: Hunters in a Farmer’s World. I wanted to know the facts about ADHD; the research, and Thom’s book was based on a theory with only his understanding of ADHD to back up what he said.

Recently a woman with ADHD requested support from members of an online group. She wrote, “I am so tired of trying so hard. In spite of trying, my partner still feels I am not trying hard enough. He doesn’t recognize how difficult it is for me. I really feel like I can’t continue, that I can’t go on any longer. I can’t go on living like this. Of course, I wouldn’t do anything, but have any of you felt this way?